Everything that died that night.

I stood on the rooftop,in the silent charismatic rain.I stand in the rain cause it hides my tears.My tears fell as my phone played the once loved ringtone of "Unfaithful" by Rihanna.I felt like this was probably the end.The end of everything that had happened in the last one week.The fact that I had loved him,loved him much more than any fucking shit on earth.The fact that when I was with him I was closest to myself.The fact that he was my whole entire world.The fact that he had cheated on me.


September 12th 2008.
I lay near the bedside lamp.There was blood.I don't know why or when.But there was a lot of blood.He was sitting in the chair opposite me,I looked up at him.I told him I was sorry.He looked back at me like I would never forget.That stone like glare that dug deep down into my soul.I felt myself falling apart,shredding my soul into tiny pieces I would never be able to gather.I looked down at my hands.His ring was not there.

He had cheated on me.I had beleived him to never cheat on me.I had loved him with all my heart and soul.WHORE.I cried as the rain increased in it's emotions like my heart ripped in it's case.Now I was crumbling to the floor.The phone still rang.I looked at the caller,it was him.HIM HIM HIM.Why? Why can he not just leave me alone


September 12th 2008.
5:30 A.M.
This time I woke up.I remember what had happened.I was still lying at that very place.There had been a girl.A girl who he had been close to.She was there in my room when I returned from the party.Liya's party.Her 24th Birthday.She had a pool party.That explains why I feel so cold.I am wearing next to nothing.I had caught him.With her.In my house.10 years of love for nothing.FUCK.Where was he now?

I decided I should pick up.I should pick his fucking call up.Hello he said.He was crying.He said he was sorry.That he loved me.That he wanted me back.I looked up at the sky.WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME AGAIN?He said he couldnt.Life without me had been hell.That's when I told him.I told him.

At last.

I had sex with your best friend.

That night you cheated on me.

The rain tippered tappered and finally stopped.I could hear the deathly silence.

I put the phone down.

I got up and walked towards the last option.

I stood there for just about every moment it took for me to remember how I loved him.

Of what we were.

That was when I died.

The adamEVE story revised.

I have a whole new perception about the famous Adam and Eve.

When Adam the ultimate guy and Eve the ultimate girl made a world started by love,they dint really do it just because they were thrown together (yer,no other option but one chick can be hard for some nowadyss) but they actually fell in love.The first fell-in-love ever.Cause whenever they looked into each others eyes they dint see loneliness,but they saw thier worlds,but ofcourse they also were in love with any or every animal and plant thing that thrived about then.

I have always been scared of falling in love.I think I am just scared of getting hurt,cause I always have a doubt in my head.Something that makes me want to chicken-out out of every situation I think I might fall in love with.Its hard to come out of it and it will always be hard,but I think all I am searching for in this testeterone filled world is a guy who will love me for what I am and aI wouldnt have a choice but to fall for him.And when it happens,it'll happen.

That sound biggie?Not much.I think I was never looking for a prince charming,I was just looking for a guy who could make me smile when I was dieng.And that might sound biggie.

But during it all,I have realised that breaking someone's heart is worse then killing someone,cause the pain stays,for a long time and maybe for a lifetime.And for fuck,I wouldnt want to do that to someone,I wish I realised it earlier than this.

So all you people out there,fall in love.In love with everything around you.Or make things around you that you cant live without.Cause life is too short to get cow-shit about it.And it's time we realised that Adam and Eve even through all the garden shit and serpant trying to make them eat fruit,really left a lesson we forgot to learn.

LOVEx

Odrill.

My mom thinks I am cool.

Sometimes I got nothing to write about but my mind keeps shifting again and again to MY BLOG.No.Seriously.I want to write something,anything.WHATEVER.

So here I am going with the flow,I am going to type in the first few things that come into my mind.I am going to take a survey.

Now you can know me betterrr(like hell yeahhh)

100 Truths

LASTS:

1. Last beverage→ Sodaa.

2. Last phone call→ P-That's one of my awesome friendss)

3. Last text message→ The pole star/SAHIL.

4. Last song you listened to→ Blame it on the pop :)

5. Last time you cried→A month back.I don't really cry,it's a waste of time.

6. Dated someone twice → NOPE.

7. Been cheated on? → NOPPE.

8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → Uh,yeahhh.

9. Lost someone special?→ Yes...

10. Been depressed?→ Erm..not.

11. Been drunk? → OH YEAHH.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:..

12. Red.

13. Green.

14. White.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: 2010

15. Made new friends → Yerr :)

16. Fallen out of love → YES.

17. Laughed until you cried → Hahaha.so many timees.

18. Met someone who changed you→ YES,I think I did.

19. Found out who your true friends were→yeahh.

20. Found out someone was talking about you→ Oh yeah.story of my life : l

21. Kissed any friend→ Yeahh

23. How many kids do you want to have→ 1 or 2.

24. Do you have any pets → Nopee.

25. Do you want to change your name→OH YES.

26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Partayyy x)

27. What time did you wake up today → 11 o clock.

28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Talking on the phone x)

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → MY EXAMS TO GET OVER.

30. Last time you saw your father→ 2 years back.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ Nothing,it's purfeectt.

32. What are you listening to right now → Down down down :)

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → No.Unfortunately.

34. What's getting on your nerves right now?→ The fact that I have nothing to wear.

36. What’s your real name→...

37. Relationship Status → ...

38. Zodiac sign: → Capricorn.

39. Male or female→ femalee.

40. Elementary→ ...

41. Middle School ...

42. High school →...

43. Hair color → Brown :)

44. Long or short → LONG.

45.Height → Erm..I am sorta tiny so yeah.

46. Do you have a crush on someone? → Yes.

47. What do you like about yourself?→ A lot of things.Mostly all.

48. Piercings → 12 :)

49. Tattoos → Gonna gett onee.

50. Righty or lefty RIGHTY.

FIRSTS :

51. First surgery → at 6.

52.First piercing → at 3.

53. First tattoo→ Not yet.

54. First best friend → Don't remember.

55. First sport you joined → Swimming.

56. First pet → grade 4

57. First vacation→ Singapore grade 3.

58. First concert → Grade 6 LINKIN PARK.

59. First crush→ Grade 3.

60. First alcohol drink→ 2 years back.

61. Eating → Cookies.

62. Drinking →Ethanol.

63. I'm about to → Go out.

64. Listening to → Do you remember-Jay sean.

65. Waiting for → Evening.

YOUR FUTURE :

66. Want kids? Not really.

67. Want to get married? No.

68. Careers in mind? None.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

69. First thing you notice → Hair.Shoes.Face (In that order)

70. Hugs or kisses → Bothh.

71. Shorter or taller → TALLER.

72. Older or Younger → Older.

73. Romantic or spontaneous → Spontaneous.

74. Nice smile or nice eyes → Eyes :)

75. Tattoos or piercings→ tattoos.

76. Sensitive or loud→ Sensitive.

77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.

HAVE YOU EVER :

79. Kissed a stranger → YEAH.

80. Drank hard liquor → YEAH.

81. Lost glasses/contacts → OH YEAH.

82. Sex on first date → NO.

83. Broken someone's heart Yes :(

84. Had your own heart broken Hahaha.Nope.

85. Been arrested? I wish.

86. Turned someone down → Yes,I have.

87. Cried when someone died → ...

88. Liked a friend that is a guy? → Haha.everytime.

89. Yourself → Me.Where? what?

90. Miracles → No.

91. Love at first sight → No.Overrated.Cliched.

92. Heaven → No.

93. Santa Claus → YES.

94. Kissing on the first date? → Erm..depends.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yeahh.

97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Noo.

98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? → Maybe.

99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → Water.

100. Posting this as 100 Truths? NOPE.

SO YOU HOT PEOPLE OUT THERE.

Tell me what you think.

And do this survey for me.

So I know you better.

Take the care.

xoxo

ODRIL.

You are on stage,baby.

Lights on.Center stage.
A screaming crowd.
That simple moment,worth a thousand smiles.

Hi,I am ODRIL.And I am a performer.

The day I realised I was made for the stage was the day I wore a serpant costume in 2nd grade and went up to stage.It was a fancy dress competition.We coud'nt be talking.We could just walk some way.Smile.Come back.I repeated this in my tiny mind.Over and over again.It was important.The moment came,I was on stage.But what happened after that did not fit in with my routine.I walked and I smiled,but I dint turn around.I stared at the croud,while the applause died down,and I spoke,effortlessly,'Heyy there.I am in 2nd-D.I want to win.I be snake.Ssss"
Come back.


Next thing,first prize.
Next next thing,that feel.
That thing which comes to a 8 year old when she wins a stupid fancy dress competition.

The rush I get when I am performing.
The feeling of being there and making it,making it to do something you love.
To feel the sweet tension,to do it there and then,nothing going on in your mind.The moment when nothing else in the world matters anymore.When it's onlyYOU up there,it's your moment.It's your day.And when you do it,the claps,the cheers,the Hi-fives and the,"OMG,I cant belive I just rocked the show!"

To dance,to act,to just go up there and flash some teeth.
That's my life,my hobby,my passion.

I remember when I first got promoted to Be(Danceworx),just before the workshop.I thought I would be located in some corner,since it was my first month in a senior batch.But,then someone must have once said,If you work hard enough and belive in your dreams,you can do it.And that is when I got Center stage,first row.THAT was when I realised once again that there are not many people in this world who can say without doubt that they have lived a moment in thier life,where for a milisecond everything was beyond perfect.I am one of the few.



And even if I am scared and nervous sometimes,or I mess up(I am not so fuck impossibly perfect,you know) or I seriously need a piss or I fall backwards doing a handstand.I still know that when I get my special moment,up there,with the lights on me,I'll shine in my own heart.I'll be happy.I'll live for myself.

And that's what its about,aint it?
About feeling good about yourself and being on the top of the world once in a while.
Just once in a while:)



Tell me what you thinkkk x)
Lovee,
ODRIL.

The sheep.

One over the fence...two over the fence...three over the fence...



As I was trying to count sheep yesterday night(Cause I couldn't go to sleep because I had not talked to THE POLE STAR* for 5 hours)I suddenly noticed that they were running too fast.I suddenly could not count them,after the 3rd one hopped across,all the rest kinda like took a sprint and rushed forward(like a shopoholic would for a Gucci sale).

I was like DUDEE,Wtff?
Why are my silly sheep running so fast,why are they suddenly so atheletic?

And then I realised that it wasn't them,it was me.
I was running too fast.
I was running so fast that I had forgotten to look around for all that mattered.

And so now I am going to take it slow.
I am going to enjoy every bit of every day that comes across.
I shall not crib,that's too yesteryear.
I will be happy.

So here are my things to take SHEEP-ow...
1)Being with friends,each day.Every moment.
2)POLE STAR.He needs to know that every little thing he does,example smile takes my heart on a wild trip.So I will savour every moment.I will take it slow.
3)Eating anything and everything(BLUEBERRYY CHEESSEECAKKEEEE/TRUFFLES/PIZZASS)I will not hog into my dessert and try to rape it.
4)Reading.No like seriously,I can finish 5 novels a day.
5)Dancing.I have started breaking bones.I need to take my dance slow and change it from commercial to what I dance for.FOR FEELING.FOR PASSION.

So you'll sexy people out there take it sheep-ow.
And tell me what you would like to capture,not in your cameras but in your hearts.
Believe me,when you start to look and cherish little stuff you'll actually be happy :)

*Who is POLE STAR? Wait for my next post :)

Time to open a new chapter.

THIS is my veerryy first post.
I have filled with feelings I can't quite make out.

WILL THIS BLOG WORK?
Will it help me find myself?
Will it open up all those doors I have closed?

And then I realise that there is always a first.
I am a crazy girl,mind you.
I do things at the spur of the moment.
I can create a scene.Making a blog sounded apealing to me,so I went ahead and did it.

Will I be able to hold onto it and commit myself?

SO MANY QUESTIONS AND SO LITTLE TIME.

But you know what?
It's kinda cool,cause I feel I am going to do just fine.

I am going to try to bring out the best writer in me,I am going to try to know ya'll sexy people out there.I am going to try and make this blog history.Not in the MEGA OH MY FUCKING WORLD FAMOUS WAY,but in a tiny way.For myself,for my friends and for all those I care for.



So I will see you soon.
I got my SCIENCE BOARD EXAM TOMORROW and I should be studying right now.
But I told you I am in-the-moment-girl,dint I?
I live for today.
And I am sure we can make a tomorrow.

Take some caree,
Lovee,
ODRILx